Sean Hannity, Two-Year-Old

Sometimes you just have to see something to believe it.

Here is a transcript of his recent "interview" (and I put that in quotes intentionally--this is about as far from an interview as you can get) of Democratic Representative Joe Sestak of Pennsylvania. Hannity complains about the "9,000 earmarks" in the economic stimulus package, and then this happens:

HANNITY: Explain that to me. You're a Democrat. Help me out.
SESTAK: Absolutely. Sean, first off, you try to name me one -- one in the recovery bill of an earmark. Now, with a --
HANNITY: Got it.
SESTAK: -- 9,000 earmarks in this omnibus --
HANNITY: I got it.
SESTAK: -- bill -- just one moment.
HANNITY: Answer.
SESTAK: There were -- OK. If --
HANNITY: One.
SESTAK: -- you could, just answer this: Is -- there's 9,000 --
HANNITY: The salt harvest marsh mouse that gets $30 million. The railway from Los Angeles to Las Vegas: that is a pork project. That is reckless spending.
SESTAK: Sean, that -- those words are absolutely not in the bill, and you know it.
HANNITY: What --
SESTAK: You may be reading them off --
HANNITY: -- the stimulus --
SESTAK: -- the Internet, but those words are not in the bill.
HANNITY: Yeah, of course, because you hide it. But we know where the money's going. It's just like, for example, all-terrain --
SESTAK: Now, Sean, those words --
HANNITY: I'll give you another one.
SESTAK: Sean, if I could.
HANNITY: All-terrain vehicles --
SESTAK: Now, wait a minute, Sean, you're reading off an Internet type of thing.
HANNITY: I'm actually reading the bill.
SESTAK: You've got to read the actual bill, and I've read every word.
HANNITY: You know --
SESTAK: Now let's talk about the 9,000 earmarks.
HANNITY: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You know and I know that Nancy Pelosi's district, that these marshlands to help save the mouse, that's where that money's going. This railway for Harry Reid, these all-terrain vehicle trails, they're in the bill, Congressman. We're spending $1.3 trillion of our kids' money. Why?
SESTAK: Sean, I just don't want to mislead the public. Those words are not in the bill. Number two: We're --
HANNITY: But the money is earmarked for it.
SESTAK: No, there are not, Sean. Number two --
HANNITY: You sound like Bill Clinton.
SESTAK: No, I'm just telling you what the facts are, 'cause I've read every word of the bill.
HANNITY: "I did not have sex with that woman." They -- that is where the money is going, Congressman. Be straight with the American people.

As comedian Demetri Martin says, it's almost as good to be loud as it is to be right.

Seriously, Sean, why do you even bother having guests? What is the point? You ask questions and then shout over the answers, repeating the same assertions over and over again (repeating things doesn't make them true, by the way, no matter how many times you do it).

Here are some simple tips for Sean:

1. When you ask a question, consider listening to the answer.

2. After listening to the answer, then you can respond. It's kind of a three-step process: you ask, he answers, you respond. This is called "interaction."

3. When you do respond, consider responding to what actually he said rather than just repeating stuff you already said.

4. Try to avoid calling the person you're talking to a liar unless you have some actual facts to back that up (which, you'll note, you didn't).

I learned this stuff when I was maybe three years old. Where does that leave Sean? (Hint: see the post title.)

Troubling Mentions of SEAN HANNITY in Fake Criminal Complaint

Here's Sean Hannity discussing the criminal complaint against Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich:

The word president-elect is mentioned 44 times in the document. Pretty troubling.

Oh, really? Did you read it, Sean? Or did you just ask someone who can read to count them for you? Did he note that not one of those "mentions" alleges or even hints at any wrongdoing on Obama's part?

In fact, every one of the "mentions" is similar to this one:

Intercepted phone calls demonstrate that ROD BLAGOJEVICH ... [has] engaged in efforts to obtain personal gain ... through the corrupt use of [his] authority to fill the vacant United States Senate Seat previously held by the President-elect.

So, the "mention" is a reference to the "Senate Seat previously held by the President-elect." Pretty damning stuff, Sean.

Just for fun, let's make up a fake (and totally unprofessional) criminal complaint. Here goes.

1. Defendant ADAMS suggested, during a telephone conversation with defendant BAKER, that Fox News personality SEAN HANNITY might be interested in their murder-for-hire scheme.

2. Defendant BAKER responded that SEAN HANNITY was a "stand-up guy" who would never become involved in "anything like this".

3. Defendant ADAMS agreed that SEAN HANNITY was "a real American" and a "fine human being" but nevetheless convinced defendant BAKER to establish contact with SEAN HANNITY.

4. Defendant BAKER subsequently called SEAN HANNITY, who expressed shock and disbelief and immediately hung up.

5. SEAN HANNITY subsequently called the Federal Bureau of Investigation and agreed to cooperate in all respects with an investigation.

6. SEAN HANNITY, in utter disregard of his personal safety, agreed to a meeting with defendants ADAMS and BAKER, to which meeting SEAN HANNITY wore a recording device.

7. SEAN HANNITY subsequently delivered the recorded tapes to the FBI by special courier at SEAN HANNITY'S own expense.

8. The FBI arrested defendants ADAMS and BAKER and credited SEAN HANNITY with the apprehension, stating that "SEAN HANNITY is the kind of American we need more of."

Uh-oh. SEAN HANNITY is mentioned eleven times in the complaint. And it's way shorter than the Blagojevich complaint.

Pretty troubling.